Serving the Voices Blog

Voices From The Road Posts

Voices from the Road: TD Benton // White Collar Sideshow

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I have always struggled with Identity and who I am, especially while doing White Collar Sideshow. I’ve come to the realization that it’s easy for the thing that you do, whether it be; music, job, sports, relationships, past struggles or mistakes to define who you are or become your identity. No surprise, I’ve said it before but I probably see it more as I’m getting older.

White Collar Sideshow

For me, letting my music become the wheel, or god of my life. For instance, becoming obsessed with MORE, MORE and MORE! More tours, more shows, more radio, is it time for a label, booking agent, festivals, merch sales, the vicious cycle of Want, Want, Want, and forgetting the whole time of, why do we do what we do? And then,when things don’t go my way; anger, frustration, the question of “why?”. Feelings of entitlement from hard work, loneliness, or measuring success placed on the people around you. When this becomes the god of our wheel so to say, we take this god to all of our different spokes of that wheel. What are the spokes of our daily life? The gym, spouse, kids, job, school, stage, meals, friends, concerts, conversations, addictions…and the list goes on. it’s so easy to let the emotional and mental state of our wheel take over and become our identity, at the same time if we don’t renew our mind at some point, our identity becomes the very thing we are consumed by.

I’ve had to sit down and retool my brain. Recognizing that if I’m a follower of Christ, my identity needs to be His, Christ defines me and not what I do for a living or what I’ve done in the past. A couple of friends, Ed and Brian, have challenged me with this, and it is way easier said than done for sure. If God is the center of my wheel and I take this identity to the different spokes of my daily life, then I am actually becoming a living, breathing example of the great commandment.

Focusing on Him; heart, mind and soul, then loving others as I want to be loved. Sure it’s no easy task, especially in the selfish world of art, but we have to be able to recognize when we are being consumed or when one of the spokes of our wheel is becoming our identity again. This is what I’ve been counteracting everything that begins to consume my wheel with; and also what needs to be in my wheel presently and daily – Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control. I want this to be my identity! I want this to define who I am! I want to take this to my marriage, my son, family, music, stage, conversations and life in general. I want these to counteract any negative emotions and it’s up to me to recognize when I’m being consumed and put these into place. If I can practice this daily, in the present, I believe my identity will not be my own, but one of a light that shines brighter than I ever could!

I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. – Phil 4:13
I can make it through anything in the one who makes me who I am…

White Collar Sideshow is a RYFO band, but they are also part of one of our partner ministries, Steiger International. Steiger is a worldwide mission organization that is called to reach and disciple the Global Youth Culture for Jesus. They use art, music and other forms of creativity to present Jesus in a clear and relevant way, and establish a long-term presence in urban centers through ongoing outreach, discipleship and local church partnership.

Voices From the Road: Phinehas

Voices From the Road Lee

“Life on tour is hard. RYFO is here to help”. This statement, however simple it may seem, holds profound truth to me as it has been realized in my life over the past 4+ years. My name is Lee Humerian and I play drums in a band called Phinehas.

My first tour was also Phinehas’ first tour – a short run in the summer of  2009 that started where we were from in southern California up to Washington state and back. I’m pretty sure we did more driving than playing, but it was a chance for us to play out of state and get our feet wet in the road grind. Back then, when we weren’t driving overnight, we relied on family for a place to eat, shower and sleep.

That’s pretty much how it was for us for our next couple tours in the summers of 2010 and 2011. We would plan on playing a summer festival and book as many shows in between as we could. There were no tour budgets and no back-up plans – just (hopefully) enough fuel to get us to the next show. Twice we popped the radiator on our van. The first time we used my credit card for the repair and borrowed a family mini-van for a couple shows. The second time, we also blew a head gasket in our engine and couldn’t afford the fix. We were stranded in Cle Elum, Washington for three days until our friend Tyrone from Bakersfield drove 1000 miles one way (!) to pick us and our trailer up. This unbelievable display of kindness is one of COUNTLESS acts of selflessness we have experienced in our years of touring. I firmly believe that we wouldn’t be a band today if it weren’t for the love and blessing we’ve received by people like this.11822561_10153158925174492_7489272583621173184_n

Many of these kind, incredible acts have been poured out on us by folks we’ve met through the RYFO organization. RYFO is a non-profit advocate for outreach to musicians. Basically, they are a community of people who open their homes to touring musicians to provide not only a place to sleep, but full-fledged meals, clean showers, laundry, and many other amenities that are often difficult to find or afford while on tour.

We met a RYFO representative at a festival in 2010 and started staying in host homes consistently when we started touring full time in 2012. While playing shows every night is an absolute blast and something we in Phinehas are very fortunate to have the opportunity to do, touring can be very exhausting. After a while, the sleep-deprivation, poor eating habits, sweaty clothes and filthy van can get to you no matter how much or how little you’ve toured. That’s why we love staying at RYFO host homes so much.

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Photo Courtesy of Jonathan Kemp

Whenever we have the opportunity to stay at a RYFO home, we almost always take it. Rest is so invaluable in life, but it can be extremely difficult to come by while on the road. RYFO stays are so replenishing for me in every way: Physically, emotionally and spiritually. What they offer is so seemingly simple, but when you’ve been away from family for weeks, stuck in a dirty van and eating poorly and irregularly, a bed, shower and meal go a really long way. On top of this, there have been many times RYFO families have gone above and beyond their call of duty. We’ve had a couple drive 4 hours one way to pick us and our gear up from a transmission shop and take us to that night’s show, then drive us 4 hours back so we could pick up our van. We’ve had hot meals waiting for us at 4am after an all-night drive. We’ve received care packages of snacks and sports drinks. We’ve had long, deep conversations about life. I could truly go on and on.

Phinehas visiting one of our host homes in Oklahoma

Phinehas visiting one of our host homes in Oklahoma

Needless to say, the people involved with RYFO are incredible. We are so fortunate to know the people we’ve stayed with. Many of them have become like family to us, and it is only possible through their loving generosity. We in Phinehas are so thankful to be a part of RYFO – this organization and the host families a part of it have blessed us immensely. If you are in a touring band, we highly encourage you to sign up for RYFO. You’ll be so glad you did! If you have the heart and the means to host and these stories moved you in any way, then we would encourage you to apply to be a host home!

Grace and peace to you, and long live RYFO!
Lee Humerian & PHINEHAS

 

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Voices from the Road: Sydney Fontaine // de la CroiX

Sydney Fontaine de la croix

Broken Down
By: Sydney Fontaine 

It was our first real tour and up to that point nothing had gone right. From losing the fender of our trailer, to shredding tires, to locking our keys in the trailer, to breaking down completely. Spending hours in repair shop waiting rooms and truck stop parking lots, having to cancel shows and facing the financial strain of repairs and delays.

Looking back, I remember feeling like my prayers in those months were falling on deaf ears and that my tears of frustration were being ignored by the Lord. In retrospect I laugh at my unrelenting hopelessness towards circumstances I couldn’t control. I can’t exactly blame myself. I didn’t know what to expect from the road, but I knew it wasn’t this.

Sydney Fontaine de la CroiXWe were in Wisconsin when our RV broke down for the second time that week, only two hours from home where we were going to stop on the way to our next show. After spending 8 hours the day prior in a repair shop where we thought they had fixed the problem. The week had already put us on edge, and we really couldn’t afford the delay of another day at a repair shop. To make a long story short, we (after a long day of pacing, praying and hoping for a reasonable solution) ended up getting towed back to our home town (praise God it was only two hours from where we were stuck) and we finished the tour in our Suburban with a couple tents thrown in our trailer. It wasn’t ideal, but we laugh remembering before we had any means to travel saying we’d camp out if we had to, feeling strongly that God wanted us to be mobile. Apparently He wanted to see if we meant it.

That tour was just the beginning of our adventures, and many worse break downs and struggles have we walked through since then. For a while we thought our calling might be to tell mechanics and tow truck drivers about Jesus because of how frequently we encountered them! Things haven’t really gotten easier, but I think the more you pursue what you’re supposed to pursue, the better you understand yourself, your calling, and the Lord.

See, before I started touring I thought that ease was a direct result of success. I thought that if we were obedient, that God would make everything a cakewalk and that the repercussions of our obedience would be instantly visible. But over the past few years I’ve found that when you turn your life over to Jesus, success isn’t always marked by the tangible result of your obedience but often by obedience itself. Even if at the end of the night you’re feeling beat up and have nothing but busted guitar picks in your pocket.

Sometimes you might not know why you did it till days, weeks, years later. You might never know. But resting in the knowledge that you did what you were supposed to do is a pretty sweet feeling.

This is my encouragement to you: most of us want to see mountains moved and tides turned when we give God room to work. We want to see the whole picture fabricate before our eyes, and it makes me wonder how often we discount the times where there seems to be no resolve, no ‘fruit’ of our labor. But how beautiful to be able to rest assured that He is faithful, and that his power is perfected in our weakness?

When you find yourself in a season of life where you can’t see the big picture, take heart. He is working in and through you in some capacity, even when you can’t see or recognize it. The Lord never sleeps, He never turns a blind eye to your pain or your efforts. Trust that His heart for you and the causes that you’re passionate about is so much bigger than ours could ever be.

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9